How do you want to be notified that you're receiving a call? The only correct answer is: farts. These ringtones were made exclusively by some of our hogs from the barn. Locally made brap ringtones, 100% grassfed. From their asshole to your eardrums.
Song title: Make Damn Shart (In the style of Taking Back Sunday's song "Make Damn Sure") Musician: Jennifer, age 23
This is one of our prized hogs. Finding a young brap hog is harder than it seems, but we found one. As you can see, she's in her natural habitat in that picture -- the kitchen. She also has her Chinese order tattooed on her arm so she never forgets her order. Her musical style is a bit more emo.
Song title: Jingle Smells (in the style of Jingle Bells) Musician: Jannet, age 72
Janett has dimentia, which made it really easy to convince her that the brap barn has been her long-time home and to not call the police on us for kidnapping. There's nothing "kid" about this old woman. Even though she can't remember what she had for dinner last night -- we can smell it. She clapped out this musical masterpiece after eating a family sized serving of Popeyes Chicken.
Song title: My Shart Will Go On (My Heart Will Go On (Titanic) Cover) Musician: Karen, age 54
As you can see, Karen is staying at jail. As part of her community service, we forced her to make a brap ringtone for us. This is punishment for stealing diabetes medicine from her niece.
