Our brap barn chefs have a recipe for disaster. Let's just hope that these recipes don't give you chocolate thunder down under. These recipes, in theory, should create the perfect, cheek-clapping fart. Pictured is our brap barn chef.

You'll get about 45BPM (braps per minute) with this recipe.

-4 cans of Heinz Baked Beans in bacon flavor (adds beefy undertone to fart)
-3 fists full of cubed ham
-1 tablespoon of Miralax (will add encourangement for farts but not too much encouragment to make poop)
-3 tablespoons tuna (adds subtle high notes to farts)

-Heat beans in a stew pot with scoops of lard. Lard will fatten up the brap hogs.
-Mix in cubed ham, Miralax, and tuna.
Bring to a boil. Once mixture starts to make little brap bubbles, you will know it's boiling. Turn heat down and simmer for 10 minutes while you round up your hawgs for feeding time.
Serve in troft.

REAL BEEFY RESULTS:
Not only do our recipes create the perfect farts and flarts (wet farts), but they also turn malnourished piglets into hawgs. Our chefs have a 98% success rate fattening up piglets.

Some hogs are brought to slaughter if they resist feeds or are caught with Ozempic. We are a zero-carbon company. To reduce our carbon footprint, slaughtered hogs are used in Ham and bean stew. Their bones are sold to Hot Topic.











Here's what a brap barn customer thinks of our recipe.